Ageless Attitude

Being Yourself at Fifty

Are you in your 40’s or 50’s and feeling just a little lost?  What is expected of you now?  Maybe you have had a successful career so far or maybe you are finally ready to launch one but feel guilty investing time in yourself?  Do you look at photos of a younger you and think ‘this is it, I’ll never look or feel that good again, just have to stumble on as best as I can’?  Or are you optimistic about your future but wonder what is acceptable to pursue?  Can I have fun, start a new career or venture, invest time in my health, body, looks?  Do I have to start eating chia seeds?  These are questions that I would like to explore with you.  

Walking near Jagiellonian Uni

"Be what you are.

This is the first step toward becoming better than you are."

Julius Charles Hare

Just to be clear, my Lady Chic Pea blog is not concerned with dishing out unwanted advice; it is not designed to control how you go about your life.  The honest truth is, Lady Chic Pea is unashamedly about ‘me’.  The content is purely to share how I go about ‘doing me’ and what works for me (and what does not).  It has taken a long time to learn to be me, so I am going to celebrate the fudge out of this!  If anyone likes anything they see, then please go ahead and copy or adapt what I do to suit you and I am honoured to have been of service.  Thank you (takes a bow).  Ignore what you do not like.  Please feel free to share what YOU do and what works for you; I would love for this to be a conversation and supportive platform.  There are however, certain considerations I wish to draw your attention to before you go ahead and blindly follow where I am stumbling along.  These include:

1.  I fully accept that my way may not be everyone’s way

Just because I feel that metallic platform thigh boots are not a stylish accessory for a fifty year old young lady (or maybe for anyone??), that does not constitute a scientific fact, nor even part of our general social contract for what is or is not acceptable.  There is much we can learn from each other. 

2.  We are all different so go at your own pace

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Yes I know, this is not a profound statement, however, how often have you had to listen to advice from someone regarding what is ‘good’ for you?  If you have great legs, then your ideal skirt length will differ from mine.  Training for a marathon* when you have a heart condition or eating walnuts for their good oils when you have a nut allergy could easily put you in the nearest A&E.  Tread with caution when following advice and of course, consult your health care professional as necessary.

 

3.  I don’t always follow my own rules

Well I never professed to be a saint did I?  I do stuff that I am fully aware goes against what I would advocate; this could be due to lack of willpower or resources, laziness or sheer defiance.  We all have our ‘couldn’t give a f***’ moments; hello chocolate mousse cake (well it’s vegan so it’s fine right?).

These will do for now.  I think you get the point?  Having said that, I do think it is important for every woman, whatever her age, to feel confident, beautiful (in every sense of the word) and good about herself.  We are awesome human beings who have accomplished the extraordinary in our journey as friends, sisters, wives, mothers, teachers, counsellors, carers, engineers, doctors the list goes on….  All this whilst fighting for our right to be seen, heard and respected as equals in our society.

Tattoo and Bikini shot

"She wore her sexuality with an older woman's ease, and not like an awkward purse, never knowing how to hold it, where to hang it, or when to just put it down."

Zadie Smith

Who Am I at Fifty?

Be you!  There, that should be easy should it not?  If only….  If, like me, you have come to realise that trying to please everyone else never works (Mary Poppins cracked it, but don’t set yourself up for failure), you may have come to the conclusion that adopting a degree of selfishness may make you a better person to be around.  That, in itself, may well do more for others, than foolishly second guessing what you think is the right thing and consequently upsetting everyone.  If you are comfortable in your own shoes (or metallic platforms), then people around you will not only be comfortable around you, but also may well gain much from your calm and level headed presence.  Being kind to yourself facilitates kindness to others.  I believe that kindness is more than just an act; it is a state of being and thinking.  Acts can be carried out for point scoring, popularity, promotions, climbing social ladders or simply to quell guilt.  Harbouring kindness towards others from within involves humility, acceptance, forgiveness and positive energy towards others.  Wishing others well removes hate, jealousy and insecurity from the equation.  This is not an end state of course, and we can all be judgmental (you take your child to McDonalds??) however, it is the awareness and the intention to be better that resonates with our higher selves and improves us.  As I have said before, I reiterate – I am not trying to be Mother Theresa, but a better version of myself.  Looking after myself and my needs enables this process, and it is very much still a work in progress.

Meditating on bench at saltburn

Confidence first, then comes beauty

The unintended consequence of this is that the confidence that comes with pleasing yourself** enhances your beauty and allure.  It gives you youth, vitality and a confident beguiling sense of style and self-assurance.  Only when I look after myself properly, internally and externally, can I be of better service to others.  That may be simply having the emotional energy to support them or the physical energy to assist them with some practical difficulty.  We all deserve to grow and flourish, and this, lovely people, includes those of us going through our middle years.  Many of us are in a position to unfold untold talents that have been lying dormant during the years of partying, working and raising families, among other things.  When wishing others well, please do not forget yourselves;  if you do, you may become invisible and the whole world misses  out on what you truly are, even if it’s an elderly neighbour who looks forward to seeing your smile and exchanging some cheerful banter every so often.  Me?  I am still raising a family and trying to develop my writing and photography, but it is very early days.

What Am I Currently Focussing On?

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Decluttering and minimising

Getting back into exercise and finding what is right for me – this is changing as my body changes

Using good quality, organic and vegan skincare

Taking the supplements for my body’s needs and for optimum skincare

Eating a plant based diet – wholefood at least 80% of the time, with around 20% at most, allocated to treats such as vegan ice cream and wine

Developing myself and skill building

 

I would really love to hear what you are working on, how you are developing yourself or how you are handling the middle years.  I would welcome any tips and advice, as I would like this to be a sharing platform where we can hang out together and share our experiences.

 

*you will NEVER EVER see me training for a marathon! 

**without being an asshole – (thanks and acknowledgement to Sarah Knight ‘You Do You’)

Turning Fifty and Embracing Vulnerability

Well that's three posts under my belt and the world hasn't stopped turning! See?  What have I lost?  What is the worst that could have happened?  Sounds easy doesn't it?  But wait …. was it really easy?  Whilst the end result of the three posts seems pleasing enough, what about the journey?  What about the moment you press 'publish'?

Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about Creating Yourself.
— George Bernard Shaw

For a tech muppet, it was a huge step to attempt to build a website.  I just about knew what a domain name was but 'clickthrough url'?  What I discovered was that although this is still a work in progress, I have really REALLY enjoyed it so far.  The satisfaction gained from creating something is unsurmountable.  Although overwhelming at times, there is so much out there in terms of help and advice from youtubers, online workshops and other bloggers that you cannot fail to put something out there.

Eating Frogs at Fifty

Reassessing Life after Fifty and Beyond

Reassessing Life after Fifty and Beyond

Having navigated through the technicalities, I had not predicted the impact of the raw realisation that I was about to expose myself online.  Never before have I had to be so brave and so vulnerable at the same time, and at fifty, I have had plenty of time to experience all sorts of emotions.  Finally, I was not making excuses about why I cannot or should not do something.  With the support, encouragement and even requests from friends and family, I treated any misgivings with the contempt they deserved, and put metaphorical pen to paper.  I attempted to research where they were selling bags of confidence 'two for the price of one' but finding none, I dug deep into my own reserves and wrote as me;  just a little person who wishes to connect and share my experiences with others.  Furthermore, I was aware that although there are areas of my life that I was introspectively confident and happy to discuss with myself, translating these private musings into speaking out loud was another matter.  Will people judge me?  Eventually, I decided that my blog would not be for all people and that I simply needed to grow a thick skin.  After all, if I couldn't write with confidence, then why bother at all?

Reflective moments

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Gratitude and purpose at Fifty

So here I am ready to share with you everything that makes me feel, look and be better.  If anything resonates with you, then I am happy we have found each other.  Everyone has their way and my way is not a Roman road.  It is very much the twisty, hilly unpredictable Yorkshire road; it is the road that is working for me at the moment yet I feel there are further surprises still to emerge.  I hope that you can all find your inner strength and confidence to follow your road of choice, rather than letting others drag you up theirs.  There is so much I am grateful for and especially to everyone who has acknowledged, liked and given positive feedback so far.  I feel I am really putting myself out there and the scaffolding of everyone's encouragement gives me strength and happiness. I thank you all.